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By Aisha - 6 Min Read

100 T-Shirt Slogans That Actually Sell (and Keep Selling)

Selling T-shirts isn’t about having the loudest design. It’s about printing something someone actually wants to wear. That usually starts with a line that feels right, not clever, not deep, just right. The kind of slogan that makes someone stop, smirk, or say, “yeah, that.”


Good ones don’t need graphics to carry them. They don’t try to go viral. They just say something people already believe — sharper, funnier, or with less filter.


If you’re printing shirts for a brand, a drop, a shop, or just for fun, these are the kinds of lines that don’t sit in stock. They don’t beg for attention. They earn it, quietly. You’ll know it when you read them.
 

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Dry & Sarcastic Slogans

Straight-faced, low-energy, but sharp. Think “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”

 

  1. “I can resist everything except temptation.” — Oscar Wilde
     
  2. “If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh; otherwise, they’ll kill you.” — George Bernard Shaw
     
  3. “I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying.” — Oscar Wilde
     
  4. “I’m not young enough to know everything.” — J.M. Barrie
     
  5. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.” — Earl Wilson
     
  6. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” — Jim Carrey
     
  7. “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win, you’re still a rat.” — Lily Tomlin
     
  8. “By all means, let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.” — Richard Dawkins
     
  9. “I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member.” — Groucho Marx
     
  10. “Common sense is not so common.” — Voltaire

 

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Petty & Passive-Aggressive Slogans

For people who want to send a message without starting a fight. Lines that bite, but quietly.

 

  1. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.” — Abraham Lincoln
     
  2. “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” — Winston Churchill
     
  3. “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” — Mark Twain
     
  4. “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” — Oscar Wilde
     
  5. “A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings—unintentionally.” — Oscar Levant
     
  6. “All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others.” — Cyril Connolly
     
  7. “If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.” — Dorothy Parker
     
  8. “The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless.” — Nicolas Chamfort
     
  9. “Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.” — Laurence J. Peter
     
  10. “If you want to make enemies, try to change something.” — Woodrow Wilson

 

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Dark Humor Slogans

Unfiltered, a little wrong, but funny to the right crowd. Not safe for small talk.

 

  1. “Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.” — Mark Twain
     
  2. “Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.” — Isaac Asimov
     
  3. “I told you I was sick.” — Spike Milligan 
     
  4. “I’m not crazy. I’ve just been in a very bad mood for 40 years.” — Ouiser Boudreaux 
     
  5. “If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.” — Sam Levenson
     
  6. “The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I’ll never be as good as a wall.” — Mitch Hedberg
     
  7. “Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.” — Franklin P. Jones
     
  8. “If you can’t be a good example, then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.” — Catherine Aird
     
  9. “It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.” — André Gide
     
  10. “My opinions may have changed, but not the fact that I am right.” — Ashleigh Brilliant

 

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Blunt Truth Slogans

No metaphors. Just facts. Honest, direct, and sometimes uncomfortable.

 

  1. “In a time of deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act.” — George Orwell
     
  2. “You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time.” — Abraham Lincoln
     
  3. “Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.” — Bertrand Russell
     
  4. “The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.” — Oscar Wilde
     
  5. “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.” — Jiddu Krishnamurti
     
  6. “The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off.” — Gloria Steinem
     
  7. “We are all hypocrites. We cannot see ourselves or judge ourselves the way we see and judge others.” — José Emilio Pacheco
     
  8. “People demand freedom of speech as a compensation for the freedom of thought which they seldom use.” — Søren Kierkegaard
     
  9. “Hell is other people.” — Jean-Paul Sartre
     
  10. “You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.” — Mark Twain

 

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Anti-Motivational Slogans

The opposite of hustle culture. Perfect for people who are over it.

 

  1. “Ambition is a poor excuse for not having sense enough to be lazy.” — Edgar Bergen
     
  2. “Never put off till tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.” — Mark Twain
     
  3. “I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.” — Jerome K. Jerome
     
  4. “Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” — Oscar Wilde
     
  5. “The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.” — Abraham Lincoln
     
  6. “I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.” — Charles Lamb
     
  7. “Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there.” — Will Rogers
     
  8. “By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.” — Robert Frost
     
  9. “Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing.” — Lao Tzu
     
  10. “If hard work is the key to success, most people would rather pick the lock.” — Claude McDonald

 

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Minimal & Cryptic Slogans

One or two words. Short phrases. Feels cool, even if it makes no sense at first.

 

  1. “Remain absurd.” — Albert Camus
     
  2. “Proceed calmly.” — Pope Francis
     
  3. “Keep the change.” — Joe Pesci (Home Alone)
     
  4. “Stay hungry.” — Steve Jobs
     
  5. “Question everything.” — Euripides
     
  6. “Silence is argument.” — Che Guevara
     
  7. “Resist much. Obey little.” — Walt Whitman
     
  8. “Less but better.” — Dieter Rams
     
  9. “Time is a flat circle.” — Friedrich Nietzsche  (popularized by True Detective)
     
  10. “Chaos is a friend.” — Bob Dylan


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Pet Lover Slogans

For dog people, cat people, and the “don’t talk to me unless it has four legs” crowd.

 

  1. “Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” — Marilyn Monroe
     
  2. “Time spent with cats is never wasted.” — Sigmund Freud
     
  3. “If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.” — Will Rogers
     
  4. “I care not for a man’s religion whose dog and cat are not the better for it.” — Abraham Lincoln
     
  5. “My little dog — a heartbeat at my feet.” — Edith Wharton
     
  6. “There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats.” — Albert Schweitzer
     
  7. “Dogs are not our whole life, but they make our lives whole.” — Roger Caras
     
  8. “The smallest feline is a masterpiece.” — Leonardo da Vinci
     
  9. “What greater gift than the love of a cat.” — Charles Dickens
     
  10. “Animals are such agreeable friends — they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.” — George Eliot


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Internet-Native Slogans

Born from tweets, memes, or DM energy. Fast, familiar, and sometimes dumb on purpose.
 

  1. “I’m baby.” — Twitter meme
     
  2. “No thoughts. Head empty.” — Tumblr-origin phrase
     
  3. “Delete my number.” — Internet breakup staple
     
  4. “I don’t dream of labor.” — Meme critique of hustle culture
     
  5. “Touch grass.” — Twitter slang for “log off.”
     
  6. “This is fine.” — KC Green (Gunshow comic)
     
  7. “Main character energy.” — TikTok/Gen Z meme language
     
  8. “Mentally I’m here.” — Twitter + image caption meme
     
  9. “Can’t. Anxiety.” — Viral tweet format
     
  10. “God gives his toughest battles to the girls with stomach issues.” — Twitter meme quote


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Rebellious but Chill Slogans

Not trying to lead a revolution — just quietly ignoring everything.
 

  1. “I would prefer not to.” — Herman Melville (Bartleby the Scrivener)
     
  2. “I’m not strange. Just not normal.” — Salvador Dalí
     
  3. “Every act of rebellion expresses a nostalgia for innocence.” — Albert Camus
     
  4. “Live, and let live.” — Friedrich Schiller
     
  5. “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” — Coco Chanel
     
  6. “The greatest prison people live in is the fear of what others think.” — David Icke
     
  7. “I’d rather be a rebel than a slave.” — Emmeline Pankhurst
     
  8. “Normal is not something to aspire to, it’s something to get away from.”— Jodie Foster
     
  9. “Think for yourself and question authority.” — Timothy Leary
     
  10. “Freedom lies in being bold.” — Robert Frost


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Quiet Flex Slogans

Lowkey bragging. Confident, but never loud about it.
 

  1. “I am deliberate and afraid of nothing.” — Audre Lorde
     
  2. “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.” — Louisa May Alcott
     
  3. “To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
     
  4. “Be so good they can’t ignore you.” — Steve Martin
     
  5. “Elegance is refusal.” — Coco Chanel
     
  6. “You should see me in a crown.” — Billie Eilish 
     
  7. “I am enough.” — Brené Brown
     
  8. “Confidence is silent. Insecurities are loud.” — Don Draper (Mad Men)
     
  9. “Power is not given to you. You have to take it.” — Beyoncé
     
  10. “Success is the best revenge.” — Frank Sinatra


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This Is Where You Print It

You’ve seen the lines that actually get worn and not forced, not overdesigned — just sharp, honest words that hit the right nerve.

 

If something here clicks, don’t overthink it. Print it. Wear it. Drop it for your brand. Or make it part of your next batch.

 

At Rapid Printing and Embroidery, we work with small brands, solo creators, and people who just want good shirts with real messaging. Whether you’re ordering one or one hundred, we’ve got you covered — fast, local, and no minimums.

 

You’ve got the slogan. We’ll take it from here.

 

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Tags:  #SCREEN PRINTING  -  #DTG PRINTING - #EMBROIDERY 

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